Up and Doing

Dear J,

    We haven't spoken in several months, not by any fault of yours. You've tried to keep in touch and I've tried to stay away. I succeeded more than you, obviously. I really don't know what to say to you but I'll try. I don't remember our first conversation, It was about 4 years ago. But I remember how we would chat through the night on 2go. I faintly remember you asking me to be your girlfriend, my naïve excitement and me waiting till the next evening to say yes. In my naïvete, that was the best way to play hard to get. I remember you. I remember how full my heart was. I remember our declarations of love. I remember the promises we would never keep. I remember how it all went downhill.

    I think I really did love you like I said I did. I was innocent, young and stupid. I was also eager to rush into the arms of Cupid. I mean, the dude didn't even need an arrow. I was quite foolish. We were quite foolish. I mean, we promised each other marriage and I was 15! We even had plans about children, names and all. As embarrassing as this is to write, It must be written. I actually thought our love would last forever or that we would at least get married like we planned. I remember all the air kisses through phone calls. Alright, not all and not even a lot of them.  A few, I guess. Sorry, my memories of you are quite hazy these days but one thing I clearly remember is that our 2go love was real. I even knew your ex girlfriend. She was so slim, light skinned and pretty and I was a bit jealous. I mean what did I have that made you choose me? Back then, I wasn't as pretty as her and that's what boys of your age were probably after. I got to like her a little, I mean she was your friend and I had to try for you because I loved you, right?

    Do you remember that story you told me about a movie you watched? You told me about a guy who fell in love with two girls, This guy was in love with Isabel and then he met Becky and fell in love with her as well. Then the guy was in a relationship with both of them and he did not know who to pick. Immediately you started the story, I got a sinking feeling in my chest and my instincts told me you were lying. That it wasn't a movie, it was real and I was Becky... with the good hair. I was so scared that it was true and I was Becky with the good hair.

 I was like:  "Instincts, you're lying!" 

                     "D, I'm telling you the truth!"

                     "NO! It's not true! J loves me! Instincts! Tell me it's not true!"

                     "I'm so sorry D", Instincts looked away with despair in his eyes. "I hate to be the bringer of bad news but.." Instincts couldn't continue with the #StoriesThatTouch

                     "Oh instincts!" Dami sobs hysterically...

    Dude, of all the names to pick, why Becky? I mean, there was Pearl or even Hepatitah!! I confronted you and you confirmed my fears, I was actually Becky. I was so calm about it. I admire how calm I was. I didn't even cry. I wonder why. And then I gave you an ultimatum: Her or Me.

    You picked me and I wish you hadn't because I broke your heart not long after or at least I think I did.

    Fast forward to a few months later, we started to drift apart. You were very busy with some stuff I don't remember and it started to affect us. We began to talk less and drift more and I started getting bored. I missed you of course but I realized I did not love you anymore. I remember that at least twice you asked me to send you airtime and I did, I remember being disturbed about it. I remember my bestie not being in support of my relationship with you despite our being on the same page about almost everything else. I remember that sometimes our conversations were hollow and empty with no depth. How could a love like that last? Sometimes I was uncomfortable with somethings you said but I said nothing because I loved you and love is about sacrifice, I mean we were going to get married and have kids. We never fought, never argued or had fall outs. We were always happy with each other. What a fairy tale.  I mean how unreal could life get. I remember the only time we met during our relationship. It was at the church I attended at that time. Our meeting was very brief, like 5 minutes but I can't wrap my mind about the fact that you expected me to kiss you there and then, in the open. I was so embarrassed plus I was at church! Of course I disagreed!! As I watched you walk away, a chord stroke deep within me and I thought there had to be more to this love thing.

    As cliché as this may sound, I never meant to hurt you. I just got bored, I think, and staying in love was harder than falling in it. Since we only met once before we broke up and once after, I can't say I missed your smile or the way you lifted one brow or any other physical features. I barely recognize you on Facebook the last time I saw your picture! The way we held on wasn't life and I'm glad it's over.

 I wish you all the good things in life,

                              D.

Dear F,

    Our age difference was one thing that I couldn't quite wrap my mind around. You are at least 11 years older than me but I have an age limit of 6. All I wanted from you was for you to teach me how to bake but I didn't qualify so you decided I qualified for something else. Unfortunately for you, I had more resistance than you thought I would. I guess I seemed like a naïve, young woman. An easy conquest of some sort. You would call me everyday and some times, we'd talk for several minutes about your unrequited emotions and how you wished to see me. Now that I think back, it was all quite pathetic.. And disgusting. After a few weeks of your pestering, I agreed to see you. That was the beginning of the end.

    As usual I didn't listen to HS, my best friend. He told me not to go but I felt too bound by my words. After spending time and effort to locate your office, I finally found it. The distance was not a joke and I was tired. Your office was not like what I expected but I forgave it and accepted it's charm. It was good enough for a baker, I guess. Then I quietly took the seat you offered and waited and watched till you dispatched your employees. The smug smiles you kept throwing my way made me feel like slugs were crawling on my skin. Yuck!

    When we were alone like you hoped, I became uncomfortable and with good reason. You decided you wanted to sit too close to me. And act like we'd known each other for so long when we'd merely known each other for a few weeks. After I rebuffed you, you decided that was the best time to check your emails and Instagram feed. As if that wasn't enough, you didn't even offer me a drink! Not even water! All you tried to force me to have was some cake when you knew I was fasting. At this point, I was livid. What kind of a pathetic wannabe Yoruba demon are you? Seriously, your game is dead. After being ignored for almost 45 minutes, I finally decided that I'd been insulted enough. I decided to leave but still it never clicked in your head that the hot sun was more than enough to dry out my tongue. And the worst, After all I went through, you gave me just 500 naira! I found out you were stingy as well. But like a good little girl, I kept quiet through it all. You told me to call you when I got to school. I'm sure you knew that wasn't going to happen.

   I'm so glad you never called again.

                                                                                                                                                         Indifference,

                                                                                                                                                                 D.

    Since my first year in uni, I've alwayS gotten  bedspAce in a haLl of residence (Thank God for new mercies). Although I always seem to get it about 6 weeks after resumption. In my 200 level, I got a particular hall for the second time (You get reallocated each year and you might not get the same hall more than once).
    A couple of weeks after settling in, I came back to school one Sunday to the tales of how my roommates plundered the limitless treasures of free WiFi. Apparently, the port was just outside the window of my first floor 6-man
room. How could it happen WHEN I went home?? Sigh. I was Very disAppoinTed. I mean, of course the Wifi just has to go off the day I come back! A number of apps on my phone needed updates and I wasn't about to use my data plan of a meagre 2GB. Why? Because then It would ONly last for a week or less. It's not called a monthly plan for nothing.
    So.. Imagine my surprise when a few days later, the WiFi came back! It was a beautiful moment! Indescribable even. Imagine my surprise when the WiFi lasted for more than a week. It was awesome. I finally knew how YouTube worked! After a few weeks, we took it for granted. I didn't buy data for about 3 months cus of the hostel WiFi. The WiFi radius got to my room so I didn't even have go to the common room to get connected. All my apps were up to date... It was every Nigerian student's dream.
One day, unfortunately for a lot of us, it just stopped. No warning.. No nothing.. It just stopped. It was painful. I had to buy data amongst other things. It also meant goodbye YouTube. Sigh. I really enjoyed the free WiFi while it lasted. It was actually approved by my Uni for students and each hall is supposed to have one.
   Anyway, I moved on. I bought data. Life went on, WiFiless and all. After about a week or two of the WiFiless life, the WiFi came back. I'm a Nigerian. I like free stuff sometimes. That's why giveaways make us so happy. Why we love birthdays and Christmas. It's why we love free WIFI! A sale, a discount. I dunno if it's human nature, we just have it. However, waiting on free stuff all the time can slow you down in life. Your expectations can and might always be cut short. They say nothing comes free. I almost agree tho... Except there's this one thing.
   

  I went to the 2015 Maritime Expo to find out more about the maritime sector. I did. It was a 3 day program that involved seminar sessions and an exhibition. I only went for one day and I assumed it would be boring because I went alone but it really wasn't.
  I got more than I bargained for because I met someone I'd like to call the man of my dreams. He was tall, dark, not overly handsome plus (When I say plus, I mean PLUS!!) he was wearing a suit! And he had a beard! He was just wonderful to peek at.
  You know that almost awkward situation where you look and find someone's eyes on you. You both look away and when you return the favour they catch you staring as well. Yea... It was kinda like that. I was just so enthralled by his unparalleled aura. I mean he wasn't the most handsome guy in the room but he stood out.
   Just before the session started, Everyone was ushered into the hall to be used. I found a seat and stayed with my phone while looking around. I couldn't help but notice that dream man knew about every body. He was saying hi to a lot of people.
   He walked up or down to greet someone sitting right in front of me and for some reason, I felt the need to check his ring finger. It wasn't bare. He was married. That poured icy water all over my dreaminess. Yuck!
   I told almost every girl I met in school for the next few days about the man of my dreams but it always ended with the tragic line "He's married"...