I unknowingly search for your face in the crowd
My heart longs for a glimpse of you
You're the one I don't know
Yet you're the one on my mind
Our meeting was misplaced
A chance encounter that almost never happened
You made me blush to my roots
It wasn't just your words
It wasn't just your eyes
It was you
All of you, telling me the same thing
"You're beautiful"
I looked away
I couldn't bear the intensity of your gaze
You were beautiful too
Your brows
Your hair
Your proud nose
The curve of your lips into a smile
Drawing me to you.
I wonder about you
This boy on my mind
Who are you?
Where are you?
I wonder what we could have been
Probably more than friends
But I might never know
You didn't get down from the cab.
When I was younger, I used to think it was really easy to forgive. I was so naïve. And then, no one had hurt me really badly before. Fast forward to a few years later, I have a story to tell.
I have a friend who thinks it's really disturbing how I expect people to use me. But despite my many disappointments, I always expect the best from people and am always greatly disappointed. There was a particular person I never expected to screw me over. At least not in the way he did. I don't want to go into details but I was really hurt. This person was a father figure and a friend. Basically, I was really pained sha. I told a few friends in a bid to get it off my chest but it didn't work. I moved on, or so I thought.
Fast forward to a few months later, my prayer life was suffering, my study life was dead. I couldn't connect to the Holy Spirit. I couldn't hear His voice. I was floating. I didn't know why. I was just there sha. I tried. I really did but I couldn't get back on track. Once in a while I would make progress but then I'd go right back to where I started. It was frustrating. I started questioning a lot of things. I started to wonder if this "Christian Life" was really the kind of life I wanted to live. The world looked so interesting and still does sometimes. I was a living confusion. I didn't know what I wanted, what was right. I wasn't sure of anything. The only thing that kept me going was church. Sunday and Thursday Services were my biweekly doses of sanity. Every other day was crazy day.
This Sunday, the 24th of June, changed something about me. I am so sure. Love, the Jesus kind of love is really difficult. It is humanly impossible. It is inhuman. It inhumane. How am I supposed to love my enemies!? And I'm supposed to keep saying hi to people who intentionally snob me?!
Let's not forget forgiving people who hurt me as much as 539 times in a day. Oh and praying for those who despitefully use me. Going the extra mile for people who would most likely never do the same.. And then, giving even when you don't have enough to people who are probably ungrateful. Wow. Just wow. Who does that?? Who does that!!?? Jesus did. Am I Jesus??😒😒😪
It took me allowing God to help me forgive for me to let go. I didn't even know that I had a grudge in the first place. I honestly had no idea. I knew I couldn't bear to talk to this person but I didn't know it was because I hadn't forgiven him. It was like a clamp around my heart stopping a lot of things from happening. And every time I got hurt, it just got tighter. It all came to a head during Rhythm 5's Camp Meeting. I couldn't even listen to the messages because the clamp was so tight. I couldn't breathe. Every time I saw someone who I felt had done me wrong, it'd squeeze up my heart. Sigh. My rich heart. God removed this clamp during Camp Meeting. But on the 24th, he helped me heal.
Today, I spoke to this person I couldn't bear to talk to and I was fine. I was laughing and gisting like nothing happened. It was amazing. I've forgiven him. Someone is probably asking "how??!". I prayed. When I couldn't take it anymore, I prayed about it. I should have done that earlier but I didn't even know it was an issue. It is possible for un-forgiveness to clog your heart. It is also possible for you to let everything go. Inhuman, yes but possible. The benefits? I'm almost like a child all over again. I can do whatever, for real. Dance in the street.. Fly....... Lol. Just kidding. Basically, my heart is lighter than it's been in a long time and that reduces my entire body weight. 😂😂😂
Dear J,
We haven't spoken in several months, not by
any fault of yours. You've tried to keep in touch and I've tried to stay away.
I succeeded more than you, obviously. I really don't know what to say to you
but I'll try. I don't remember our first conversation, It was about 4 years
ago. But I remember how we would chat through the night on 2go. I faintly
remember you asking me to be your girlfriend, my naïve excitement and me
waiting till the next evening to say yes. In my naïvete, that was the best way
to play hard to get. I remember you. I remember how full my heart was. I
remember our declarations of love. I remember the promises we would never keep.
I remember how it all went downhill.
I think I really did love you like I said I
did. I was innocent, young and stupid. I was also eager to rush into the arms
of Cupid. I mean, the dude didn't even need an arrow. I was quite foolish. We were quite foolish. I mean, we promised each other marriage and I
was 15! We even had plans about children, names and all. As embarrassing as
this is to write, It must be written. I actually thought our love would last
forever or that we would at least get married like we planned. I remember all
the air kisses through phone calls. Alright, not all and not even a lot of
them. A few, I guess. Sorry, my memories
of you are quite hazy these days but one thing I clearly remember is that our
2go love was real. I even knew your ex girlfriend. She was so slim, light
skinned and pretty and I was a bit jealous. I mean what did I have that made
you choose me? Back then, I wasn't as pretty as her and that's what boys of
your age were probably after. I got to like her a little, I mean she was your
friend and I had to try for you because I loved you, right?
Do you remember that story you told me
about a movie you watched? You told me about a guy who fell in love with two
girls, This guy was in love with Isabel and then he met Becky and fell in
love with her as well. Then the guy was in a relationship with both of them and
he did not know who to pick. Immediately you started the story, I got a sinking
feeling in my chest and my instincts told me you were lying. That it wasn't a
movie, it was real and I was Becky... with the good hair. I was so scared that
it was true and I was Becky with the good hair.
I was like:
"Instincts, you're lying!"
"D, I'm telling you
the truth!"
"NO! It's not true! J
loves me! Instincts! Tell me it's not true!"
"I'm so sorry
D", Instincts looked away with despair in his eyes. "I hate to be the
bringer of bad news but.." Instincts couldn't continue with the
#StoriesThatTouch
"Oh instincts!"
Dami sobs hysterically...
Dude, of all the names to pick, why Becky?
I mean, there was Pearl or even Hepatitah!! I confronted you and you confirmed
my fears, I was actually Becky. I was so calm about it. I admire
how calm I was. I didn't even cry. I wonder why. And then I gave you an ultimatum: Her or Me.
You picked me and I wish you hadn't because
I broke your heart not long after or at least I think I did.
Fast forward to a few months later, we
started to drift apart. You were very busy with some stuff I don't remember and
it started to affect us. We began to talk less and drift more and I started
getting bored. I missed you of course but I realized I did not love you anymore. I remember that at least twice you asked me to send you airtime and I
did, I remember being disturbed about it. I remember my bestie not being in
support of my relationship with you despite our being on the same page about almost
everything else. I remember that sometimes our conversations were hollow and empty
with no depth. How could a love like that last? Sometimes I was uncomfortable
with somethings you said but I said nothing because I loved you and love is
about sacrifice, I mean we were going to get married and have kids. We never fought, never argued or had fall outs. We were always
happy with each other. What a fairy tale.
I mean how unreal could life get. I remember the only time we met during
our relationship. It was at the church I attended at that time. Our meeting was
very brief, like 5 minutes but I can't wrap my mind about the fact that you
expected me to kiss you there and then, in the open. I was so embarrassed plus
I was at church! Of course I disagreed!! As I watched you walk away, a chord
stroke deep within me and I thought there had to be more to this love thing.
As cliché as this may sound, I never meant
to hurt you. I just got bored, I think, and staying in love was harder than
falling in it. Since we only met once before we broke up and once after, I
can't say I missed your smile or the way you lifted one brow or any other
physical features. I barely recognize you on Facebook the last time I saw your picture!
The way we held on wasn't life and I'm glad it's over.
I wish you all the
good things in life,
D.
Dear T,
Today I saw you and spoke to you after...
Well.. About two weeks? But it feels longer than that, doesn't it? We haven't
spoken in all that time except one evening when we briefly saw each other. My
phone got bad and I haven't fixed it yet because I want a new one (long story)
and also because I used the money for something else. I honestly have missed
you, I'll admit. I'll also admit that I've been thinking about you. Thoughts of
you have been haunting me actually. I even had a weird dream about you which
says a lot because I hardly have dreams and rarely remember when I do. In my
dream, you stabbed me ( I wrote this line with a smile on my face). So imagine
how I felt when after all this, I saw you when I wasn't even wishing to. Sigh.
There were times I wished to see you, I would intentionally pass by your hostel
just so I could 'bump' into you. Not having a phone meant I couldn't talk to
you except I saw you. I thought you were worried about me. I thought you'd
wonder if I had died or something. But you weren't.
When we first met, I gave you the benefit
of the doubt, I believed everything you said because I felt I could trust you.
I found out the hard way not to take you at your word. At first, it wasn't
about feelings for you. You just wanted to be physical.. I just wanted the
thrill only a bad boy could give. I did get it for a while but I hated the hold
you seemed to have over me. A few words right words made me putty in your
hands. However, I knew it was wrong. I'm a Christian and that means I can't
just go with the flow. It means I should run away from any appearance of evil,
sin, immorality, 'fun'. I knew that, yet
I didn't listen to the warnings of HS about how I was playing with fire. I was
like a moth drawn to flame... I've digressed.
HS is my best friend. He just knows.
I know it seemed like I 'played' hard to
get but I didn't. I'm just very busy with a lot of things I'd rather not talk
about in this letter. Anyway, before today, I didn't know what to believe. Did
you really care as much as you say you did? Then why didn't you want to see me
in the daytime? Why did you only want to meet me at night? You once told me I
was beautiful, did you mean only at night? I know I sound naïve and silly and
all the things that annoy you but I don't care. This isn't really about you
even if it is. I never asked you to talk to me that day on IG. I was just being
myself and liking the pictures of a random cute guy. I actually thought you
were someone else, a student in my faculty. I only realized later that you
weren't and that I'd seen you once in school (If I ever talk to you again, I'll
tell you about it). I never asked you to send me your WhatsApp number. That
should have been the first warning bell. If you really wanted to talk to me, you
should have asked for mine. You should have called me, in fact. Call me old
fashioned but I believe that if a man is serious about a woman, he goes out of
his way to show it. WhatsApp is too convenient. I never even asked you to keep
coming back after every rebuff I threw your way. Your persistence endeared you
to me. It was cute.
For some reason, you always felt like I had
an ulterior motive. I should have been the one to think that, you were the one
who came after me. You said you saw something. You said you really liked me and nothing I did would change that. You said
so many things but you were lying. You lied. You are not a man of your words. I
realized that today. It's ironic how bound I feel to a person after saying
'yes', yet you would promise me one thing and give another. Today, after I
realized you were in the garden I wanted to run, tail tucked and all but my
friend refused. She's a good friend, she made me face the fear of speaking to
you. I had to mentally prepare myself for 30 minutes or more (maybe I should
write a book on delay tactics). Hilariously enough, HS told me to go talk to
you! I mean, since when did he encourage me to talk to men I could be
romantically involved with?? As if that wasn't enough, Perry, a periwinkle or
whatever he was, gave me the same advice ( don't even ask). He's probably dead
now since I left him on dry land. I was so nervous.. Sigh. Immediately I
stopped in front of you, the butterflies in my tummy stopped. I was a bit
disappointed today, you finally gave up. Your defensive statements made me
realize how much of a fool I've been these past few weeks. A big one.
I'm glad I talked to you today, I felt so
light afterwards even if we're no longer friends or whatever we were. It
reminds me of when I told you about my faith and love for God. Do you remember?
You told me I was crazy. You don't talk much, yet you sent me about 17 or 18
messages that night. I never read them, I couldn't. I was scared of what your
words would do to me but at the same time I felt so liberated, I could finally
be myself. I thought we were never talking to each other again but you said hi
almost a week after. I know you never understood me and that's okay. Maybe I do
have trust issues after all. Sometimes, I wondered what you really wanted from
me. Love? Companionship? Or home? I wondered if you wanted an actual
relationship or an official side chick. I wondered if you meant any of the
things you said... If you actually did catch feelings. It doesn't matter
anymore. We're done. Today might have been closure for you but this letter is
closure for me.
Goodbye,
D.
D.
Today, my mum told me that it took her over 3 days to give birth to me. She went into Labour on the 11th and was placed on admission in a hospital close to our house before she was moved to Ayinke house, LASUTH, Lagos. Basically she started on the 11th and she had me on the 14th. It was a Monday. On that day, the sun must have been so beautiful and the sky so blue and blah blah blah. I was eventually birthed through a C-section and several years later, I'm just finding out.
Tomorrow is my birthday and I'm so excited. Guess what? I have plans. Yay! Two years ago, I had the worst birthday ever. The worst. Apart from my family only about 5 people wished me a happy birthday. I was miserable! I had classes on that day till 6pm! Sigh.. Enough venting.. For now. *insert evil smirk*.
Anyways back to my plans. I was so stumped about what to do. Movie? Nehh! Party? Blehh! That's it. My span of ideas for a birthday. Sigh again. I know, I know. Anyway, I decided to ask the Giver of all for a birthday idea and I got one that pleases me immensely. I'm going to the Lekki Conservation Centre and the Palms shopping Mall, both in Lekki, Lagos. The island (Lagos island) has always held a special charm for me. There's just something magical about it. Call me crazy, I'll still think so. I mean, there's the iconic ocean, the beaches, the tall buildings, the sand in your shoes, the general tushness of that area speaks to me.
What influenced my choices? The Lekki Conservation Centre is a wild life reserve centre and it's amazing that I've never heard of it before this week. I mean, I know I'm a house rat and all but a wild life resort in Lagos?? Thank you Google. I love nature and sightseeing. The two-in-one package is irresistible for me. And then I've never been to the Palms Shopping Mall. I can't wait to unleash myself on a mall that boasts of over 30 shops.
I'll tell y'all all about it. See you on the other side and happy new year to me and all April born. Muah!
Tomorrow is my birthday and I'm so excited. Guess what? I have plans. Yay! Two years ago, I had the worst birthday ever. The worst. Apart from my family only about 5 people wished me a happy birthday. I was miserable! I had classes on that day till 6pm! Sigh.. Enough venting.. For now. *insert evil smirk*.
Anyways back to my plans. I was so stumped about what to do. Movie? Nehh! Party? Blehh! That's it. My span of ideas for a birthday. Sigh again. I know, I know. Anyway, I decided to ask the Giver of all for a birthday idea and I got one that pleases me immensely. I'm going to the Lekki Conservation Centre and the Palms shopping Mall, both in Lekki, Lagos. The island (Lagos island) has always held a special charm for me. There's just something magical about it. Call me crazy, I'll still think so. I mean, there's the iconic ocean, the beaches, the tall buildings, the sand in your shoes, the general tushness of that area speaks to me.
What influenced my choices? The Lekki Conservation Centre is a wild life reserve centre and it's amazing that I've never heard of it before this week. I mean, I know I'm a house rat and all but a wild life resort in Lagos?? Thank you Google. I love nature and sightseeing. The two-in-one package is irresistible for me. And then I've never been to the Palms Shopping Mall. I can't wait to unleash myself on a mall that boasts of over 30 shops.
I'll tell y'all all about it. See you on the other side and happy new year to me and all April born. Muah!
I've loved and lost a lot in my not so long life on earth. I'm talking about people... friends, ex friends or whatever those are called. I've been feeling nostalgic for a couple of days, a week maybe? What can say? I miss some people and as for some others, I can't believe I ever had anything to do with them.
There's a song I used to love.it It simply said "no matter what happens I've got my friends". It was a nice touching sentiment but sometimes, friends lie, friends aren't genuine, sometimes they use you, hurt you, sometimes friends leave you. Sometimes your friends aren't really your friends and it's all fun and games till you need them. I'm really not against having friends as long as you know who they really are.
You know, I've always wanted a bff (best friend forever) but I don't think it's in God's plan for my life. Some of my best friends and I lost touch cus of school, misunderstandings and sometimes it was because I realized that I was the only one who was really willing to give or go the extra mile. Have you ever done something for someone that cost you something? Then imagine the pain when you realize they wouldn't do the same for you.
I've moved into a hostel in school very recently and I find myself wanting friends around me. The problem is I'm too socially awkward to flow with everyone or just anyone. A lot of people think I'm amazing but still I don't have that one friend (or more, I really don't mind) that I can call my ride or die. We always lose touch, drift apart, fight... Something. I've become a lone ranger as a result. Learned to be happy by myself
Sometimes, you don't realize you've learnt a lesson until something happens more than once. You do exactly the same things and hope for something different each time. You're actually quite mad according to a wise guy who's dead.
I guess I just feel old because I know how different I've become. I have a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders and a lesser number of people I can call my friends. I miss some of the ones I've lost. My ex best friend, some that tried to get out of the friend zone and some that I'm just too shy to say hello to. Its kind of amazing that I used to be close to some people and now I barely know what to say to then.
And then there are some people I will just never miss. Ever. Like never ever ever ever never ever. Keep your Justin Bieber comebacks, thank you very much. - Damimyne
There's a song I used to love.it It simply said "no matter what happens I've got my friends". It was a nice touching sentiment but sometimes, friends lie, friends aren't genuine, sometimes they use you, hurt you, sometimes friends leave you. Sometimes your friends aren't really your friends and it's all fun and games till you need them. I'm really not against having friends as long as you know who they really are.
You know, I've always wanted a bff (best friend forever) but I don't think it's in God's plan for my life. Some of my best friends and I lost touch cus of school, misunderstandings and sometimes it was because I realized that I was the only one who was really willing to give or go the extra mile. Have you ever done something for someone that cost you something? Then imagine the pain when you realize they wouldn't do the same for you.
I've moved into a hostel in school very recently and I find myself wanting friends around me. The problem is I'm too socially awkward to flow with everyone or just anyone. A lot of people think I'm amazing but still I don't have that one friend (or more, I really don't mind) that I can call my ride or die. We always lose touch, drift apart, fight... Something. I've become a lone ranger as a result. Learned to be happy by myself
Sometimes, you don't realize you've learnt a lesson until something happens more than once. You do exactly the same things and hope for something different each time. You're actually quite mad according to a wise guy who's dead.
I guess I just feel old because I know how different I've become. I have a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders and a lesser number of people I can call my friends. I miss some of the ones I've lost. My ex best friend, some that tried to get out of the friend zone and some that I'm just too shy to say hello to. Its kind of amazing that I used to be close to some people and now I barely know what to say to then.
And then there are some people I will just never miss. Ever. Like never ever ever ever never ever. Keep your Justin Bieber comebacks, thank you very much. - Damimyne
The first time I met this guy, he literally tried to buy me. I can still remember the smug look on his face. I told him I was priceless tho. Turns out he's really a softie with a big heart.
Who?
I am Dare Asobele
I am Dare Asobele
What?
I do a lot of things, by God's grace I will be a lawyer from December 16th 2015. I also have this Lil business of making healthy fruit juice to help reduce stress and help in weight loss. Most importantly I love giving back to the society with my NGO group known as ExecutivesInitiative where I and a couple of friends have an event called The charity.
I do a lot of things, by God's grace I will be a lawyer from December 16th 2015. I also have this Lil business of making healthy fruit juice to help reduce stress and help in weight loss. Most importantly I love giving back to the society with my NGO group known as ExecutivesInitiative where I and a couple of friends have an event called The charity.
Why?
I care about The Charity event, cause I feel like no one cares about anyone else apart from themselves and selfish related goals and we should be able to take at least once a year if not everday and make a couple of kids laugh during this festive period. I see the hope and dreams these kids have and it breaks my heart I can't do much, but I Will start and hopefully someday I hope God makes me make their dreams come through. I don't do this for people to say I am nice and caring, in fact I might be annoying and crazy at times but I just want to see Nigerian kids that don't have anything to be able to give back someday.
I care about The Charity event, cause I feel like no one cares about anyone else apart from themselves and selfish related goals and we should be able to take at least once a year if not everday and make a couple of kids laugh during this festive period. I see the hope and dreams these kids have and it breaks my heart I can't do much, but I Will start and hopefully someday I hope God makes me make their dreams come through. I don't do this for people to say I am nice and caring, in fact I might be annoying and crazy at times but I just want to see Nigerian kids that don't have anything to be able to give back someday.
How?
Doing it, has it's ups and down. We are not registered and also funds are personal funds. We just send bcs and also disturb our uncles and aunties. Also we get help from small groups and now bloggers help us send the word out there. But I make sure with the little we have, we do much. This is the 3rd year. This year it is called #Thecharity2015.
Doing it, has it's ups and down. We are not registered and also funds are personal funds. We just send bcs and also disturb our uncles and aunties. Also we get help from small groups and now bloggers help us send the word out there. But I make sure with the little we have, we do much. This is the 3rd year. This year it is called #Thecharity2015.
Where?
This year, the charity is visiting 3 orphanage homes and two communities
This year, the charity is visiting 3 orphanage homes and two communities
When?
The charity 2015 takes place on the 23rd of December.
The charity 2015 takes place on the 23rd of December.
To participate kindly follow us on Twitter @Executivesinc and Instagram @ExecutivesInitiative and like our Facebook page and check out old pictures of wat we are about www.facebook.com/executivesinitiative
Kindly support #Thecharity2015 by filling this online. Click the link and Help the Kids https://goo.gl/39t691
Kindly support #Thecharity2015 by filling this online. Click the link and Help the Kids https://goo.gl/39t691
Here is a little something extra from the big guy.
Charity begins at home, but should spread to our communities.
Think about how much of an impact you can make by donating clothes, shoes, school bags and books; by giving toys; by helping out; by smiling at a kid.
Now don't just think! Do! Give! Help! Smile! Donate!
It's incredible how much of an impact you can make by simply taking one day out of 365 days to contribute to a child's happiness and a communities' delight especially in this very special season.
Think about how much of an impact you can make by donating clothes, shoes, school bags and books; by giving toys; by helping out; by smiling at a kid.
Now don't just think! Do! Give! Help! Smile! Donate!
It's incredible how much of an impact you can make by simply taking one day out of 365 days to contribute to a child's happiness and a communities' delight especially in this very special season.
Be part of this experience. Call the following numbers if you want to participate on that day:
(Dare) +2347087759673, +234816 748 8754
(Fikayo)+2348079352613, +2348097875070
(Boro) +234 809 619 2819
(Fikayo)+2348079352613, +2348097875070
(Boro) +234 809 619 2819
God bless you as you donate
 |
| Squad!!! |
So, I went to Ikogosi warm springs with my family on the 30th of December. As most of you know, it's located in Ekiti state. It's about an hour away from my hometown, Usi Ekiti, Ekiti state. Yes, I had my new year ushering in my village. It turned out okay, I didn't want to go but like I said, it turned out okay. After being annoyed by being made to wait for my brother to get his BVN at a bank in Ado Ekiti, we were finally on our way. Did I forget to mention that Ekiti was really cold. The harmattan was out of this state.
At the gate, you're expected to pay 500 naira per head although the man was nice enough to let my baby bro go in for free. We weren't the only family that had that idea tho cus the place was swarming. There weren't sooo many people but it wasn't close to being empty either. It was a great mixture of nature and man.
The highlight of this place is supposed to be the meeting point of the warm and cold springs and it is truly amazing how both meet in a little pond but don't mix. The cold water remains really cold and the warm water, really warm. i mean how water stays warm in that kind of weather is a wonder of nature.
I had fun and family time which we haven't had in a loong time. Dad travels a lot plus the bros and I are in one school or the other.
The fam minus one
If you ever decide to go to the Ikogosi warm springs, make sure you take your food, drinks and swimming gear. The prices of stuff there was ridiculous while the pool was hard to resist. And make sure you go with your family and or some friends. Places like these are best enjoyed with loved ones.
A friend once told me that if I ever went to his village, I shouldn't dare put my hand out the window of whatever vehicle I'm in because some very nice people would help me hack it off! He didn't call them nice people but I think they are nice, don't you? I dunno if this actually happens in Nigeria ( I dunno the name of the village) but I've heard it from more than one person. I guess there must be an element of truth in that short description.
I thought it was quite hilarious back then, I still think it is. I mean, isn't it just ridiculously funny that some people would go to the stressful and bloody extent of cutting my hand off while I'm in a moving vehicle. All that for me? All that just cus I wanted a little breeze on my hand!?
But I probably won't get such courtesy if I needed a place to stay for the night in an unfamiliar place with no money for a hotel. I don't think I'd get such courtesy if my purse got stolen and I was stranded. Any stressful or bloody efforts here? No? The "purse and strand" thing happened to a friend of mine. She found out her situation when she was in a bus. When she got down from this bus she'd paid the fare for, she begged the conductor and driver to return the money she had paid. They zoomed off.
I don't think that either the still missing Chibok girls or their families are getting such wonderful kindness. It's been 604 days since the kidnap and 219 girls are still reported missing. Any stressful or bloody efforts here? No?
It is broadly accurate to say that over 13,000 people have been killed in Nigeria's insurgency according to Africacheck . 13,000 human beings have died within the space of 5 years and all some people care about is where I put my hands or what I say on the internet.
Thousands of years ago, Cain asked God, "Am I my brother's keeper?", right after he killed this brother. Each and everyday, Nigerians all over the world ask the same question with words, actions and thoughts. And I still think it's hilarious.
I thought it was quite hilarious back then, I still think it is. I mean, isn't it just ridiculously funny that some people would go to the stressful and bloody extent of cutting my hand off while I'm in a moving vehicle. All that for me? All that just cus I wanted a little breeze on my hand!?
But I probably won't get such courtesy if I needed a place to stay for the night in an unfamiliar place with no money for a hotel. I don't think I'd get such courtesy if my purse got stolen and I was stranded. Any stressful or bloody efforts here? No? The "purse and strand" thing happened to a friend of mine. She found out her situation when she was in a bus. When she got down from this bus she'd paid the fare for, she begged the conductor and driver to return the money she had paid. They zoomed off.
I don't think that either the still missing Chibok girls or their families are getting such wonderful kindness. It's been 604 days since the kidnap and 219 girls are still reported missing. Any stressful or bloody efforts here? No?
It is broadly accurate to say that over 13,000 people have been killed in Nigeria's insurgency according to Africacheck . 13,000 human beings have died within the space of 5 years and all some people care about is where I put my hands or what I say on the internet.
Thousands of years ago, Cain asked God, "Am I my brother's keeper?", right after he killed this brother. Each and everyday, Nigerians all over the world ask the same question with words, actions and thoughts. And I still think it's hilarious.
I grew up desperately wanting to be normal. I wanted to be like other girls (I've been told I look like Mulan). I wanted to belong but I just didn't fit in. Any where. No matter how hard I tried
Very recently I found out that acceptance is as essential to a man as healthy food. And acceptance is not something I ever got. When you eat unhealthy food, your body's immunity drops. Think of acceptance as healthy food for your mind.
As an artist, I tend to want to express myself in ways not understood by many. From my parents to my friends to my family and It hurts a lot to think that the people who brought me into this world don't know my likes, dislikes or my favourite things to do
At a point, I didn't know who I was. I didn't even like who I was. I just wanted to be someone else. I would cry myself to sleep begging God to change me. I'm so glad he didn't listen. Because I wasn't accepted unconditionally, I felt something was wrong with me. I felt like I was weird, a freak of nature. But you know me, I always smiled.
I'm the kind of person that just laughs or smiles for seemingly for no reason. My pastor told me that my mind works like a clock. I think about something, forget all about it and then it comes back to me several minutes or hours afterwards. By this time, the people I'm talking to have moved on with their lives and I just look odd.
I joined Streams of Divine Life in March, this year. It is one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. I found a family. People who love me, value me and make me feel important, like I'm worth something precious and most importantly, people who accept me the way I am but are open to my growth and improvement. I love each and every member of my spiritual family.
They get that I'm quirky, bossy, hyper, weird and they love me for it. I even got my own nickname.
Acceptance is a very strong and powerful thing. I feel more at home with these wonderful people than with my own biological family. I feel complete.
Very recently I found out that acceptance is as essential to a man as healthy food. And acceptance is not something I ever got. When you eat unhealthy food, your body's immunity drops. Think of acceptance as healthy food for your mind.
As an artist, I tend to want to express myself in ways not understood by many. From my parents to my friends to my family and It hurts a lot to think that the people who brought me into this world don't know my likes, dislikes or my favourite things to do
At a point, I didn't know who I was. I didn't even like who I was. I just wanted to be someone else. I would cry myself to sleep begging God to change me. I'm so glad he didn't listen. Because I wasn't accepted unconditionally, I felt something was wrong with me. I felt like I was weird, a freak of nature. But you know me, I always smiled.
I'm the kind of person that just laughs or smiles for seemingly for no reason. My pastor told me that my mind works like a clock. I think about something, forget all about it and then it comes back to me several minutes or hours afterwards. By this time, the people I'm talking to have moved on with their lives and I just look odd.
I joined Streams of Divine Life in March, this year. It is one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. I found a family. People who love me, value me and make me feel important, like I'm worth something precious and most importantly, people who accept me the way I am but are open to my growth and improvement. I love each and every member of my spiritual family.
They get that I'm quirky, bossy, hyper, weird and they love me for it. I even got my own nickname.
Acceptance is a very strong and powerful thing. I feel more at home with these wonderful people than with my own biological family. I feel complete.
What's in a name?
It's just a tag to show you came
Unfortunately, we're all tagged
I tried to hide mine
but they found me
Now they want to drown me
Who am I?
What am I?
Why am I here?
Questions I have no answer to.
But I do know that I am something,
I know that i am here.
Why do you want something that isn't there?
You asked for his name,
But I ask: who is he?
He's not you
He doesn't matter.
So tell me your name...
But then again, what's in a name?
It's just a tag to show you came
Unfortunately, we're all tagged
I tried to hide mine
but they found me
Now they want to drown me
Who am I?
What am I?
Why am I here?
Questions I have no answer to.
But I do know that I am something,
I know that i am here.
Why do you want something that isn't there?
You asked for his name,
But I ask: who is he?
He's not you
He doesn't matter.
So tell me your name...
But then again, what's in a name?
I thought I could confide in you,
I mean, that's what friends do, right?
Wrong! Tell them your secrets
And they tell the world.
Tell them your thoughts
and they shut you up.
Tell them your fears
And they make you scared;
I mean, that's what friends do, right?
Wrong! Tell them your secrets
And they tell the world.
Tell them your thoughts
and they shut you up.
Tell them your fears
And they make you scared;
Scared to love and to trust.
Scared to feel and to live.
I already love you
but does it matter?
Your heart beats for another.
This facade of friendship used
to cover up our passion and our lust.
Our love and our wants.
I thought I could confide in you
But I was wrong
so I wrote this poem instead
While I cry in bed.
Scared to feel and to live.
I already love you
but does it matter?
Your heart beats for another.
This facade of friendship used
to cover up our passion and our lust.
Our love and our wants.
I thought I could confide in you
But I was wrong
so I wrote this poem instead
While I cry in bed.
I tried very hard,
gave it my best,
I even broke a sweat.
I traveled several miles.
I used my money and time.
My love and my smile.
I did it with the best intentions
but I got no reward for my ministrations
I got fake smiles and fake thank yous,
insults and put downs.
Where's the warm hug I thought I would get?
Where's the friend I thought I had in you?
Why are there tears of disappointment on my face?
What am I going to do?
I will smile and wipe my tears.
I will cry and face my fears.
What fears have I?
That I will be alone.
That you will leave me.
That you will make make me cry.
That you will hurt me.
But you cannot know for my pride is great.
So I will hold my head high and bear my fate
I will be strong and see your face
One more day, I say.
Maybe it's today.
I'll finally hear those words,
you'll say you love me,
even if it isn't true.
I'd rather tell myself this than accept the truth
That you don't love me and I don't love you
and I'm just scared to die alone
This was a very random poem inspired by my frustration at not getting a bedspace in my school. I'm actually single and not in love with anyone at the moment and I dunno where that part came from. But I love how it looks and feels. I hope you also do
gave it my best,
I even broke a sweat.
I traveled several miles.
I used my money and time.
My love and my smile.
I did it with the best intentions
but I got no reward for my ministrations
I got fake smiles and fake thank yous,
insults and put downs.
Where's the warm hug I thought I would get?
Where's the friend I thought I had in you?
Why are there tears of disappointment on my face?
What am I going to do?
I will smile and wipe my tears.
I will cry and face my fears.
What fears have I?
That I will be alone.
That you will leave me.
That you will make make me cry.
That you will hurt me.
But you cannot know for my pride is great.
So I will hold my head high and bear my fate
I will be strong and see your face
One more day, I say.
Maybe it's today.
I'll finally hear those words,
you'll say you love me,
even if it isn't true.
I'd rather tell myself this than accept the truth
That you don't love me and I don't love you
and I'm just scared to die alone
This was a very random poem inspired by my frustration at not getting a bedspace in my school. I'm actually single and not in love with anyone at the moment and I dunno where that part came from. But I love how it looks and feels. I hope you also do
"You're fatter." A phrase I'm getting accustomed to hearing. I'm also getting tired of it. Apart from the fact that it makes me flinch and say "ouch!", it's annoying. Just yesterday, I was reminded of how big I look by my best friend.
It's very easy to make harsh comments and feel like you're being helpful or honest but the truth hurts. Especially when you're on the receiving end. I'm not being ungrateful, I know all those people mean well. So I say a very big thank you to everyone who has pushed me, without mercy I must say, towards my weight-loss journey.
We all know that our society frowns upon fat or obese people. As girls, Our models of beauty are skinny, stick figured women, most with eating disorders, killer diets and killer heels. We all want to
be beautiful so we idolize them anyway. Did I mention that most of them aren't black? They don't have our abundance of melanin, our beautiful kinky hair, our fierce and formidable strength or our rich heritage.
They don't have our unique beauty. We are clearly very different, so why are they more beautiful than me? Why is it that a light skinned girl who is "just pretty" gets more followers and likes than a dark skinned one in the same category. Dark skinned girls have to try harder, be bolder, or be models to get the same kind of recognition. But you can hardly be a model if you aren't skinny. So much prejudices against the ordinary girls like me who aren't gorgeously beautiful or skinny or light skinned.
So what's a girl to do? Some take matters in their hands and bleach their skin. I'm sure we all know or have heard about that one girl who was as dark as night and is now as white as light or err.. snow. *sigh*. You can't walk into a beauty store today without your eyes being attacked by rows and aisles of bleaching creams or lightening solutions. Solutions to what problems?
I think it's funny how in music videos, our own artistes feel it's okay to use our nigerian girls for the twerking and club scenes but for the love and marriage scenes, they bring the fine, fair foreign girls in. This insinuates that we aren't beautiful enough for them to marry. I really think it's a horrible trend. We believe a lot of what we watch unconsciously whether we know it or not. A lot of teenage girls feel inferior because of their skin tone and the men and women they love and look up to aren't helping.
My "unskinny" sisters, my great size 10 to 20 fam, walk into clothing stores and find clothes that can't fit them or are aren't their style. Big girls need stylish clothes too. We need to feel beautiful and sexy and not so big. We need to look good so the first thing people notice isn't our tummies or our thick thighs but how beautiful God made us. By the way, I absolutely adore Meghan Trainor and her songs.
To my unskinny sisters, my size 10 to 20 fam, we have our veggie shakes, sport gear and long workouts to look forward to. Isn't that great? If you really want to lose weight, abandon us and join the skinny sisters fam, no problem. And if you don't, no problem. Just stay healthy and don't have heart disease.
I am not against skinny girls. I have a particular skinny friend and after reading this post, she told me that she gets judged a lot just because she is super slim, So I put this in just for her. Skinny girls do eat, sometimes more than their unskinny sisters but they've been blessed to stay that way and we can't judge them for that.
I believe there is beauty in every girl and every woman, black, white, yellow or green. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
Happy new year.
Till someone calls me fat again, Sayonara!
It's very easy to make harsh comments and feel like you're being helpful or honest but the truth hurts. Especially when you're on the receiving end. I'm not being ungrateful, I know all those people mean well. So I say a very big thank you to everyone who has pushed me, without mercy I must say, towards my weight-loss journey.
We all know that our society frowns upon fat or obese people. As girls, Our models of beauty are skinny, stick figured women, most with eating disorders, killer diets and killer heels. We all want to
be beautiful so we idolize them anyway. Did I mention that most of them aren't black? They don't have our abundance of melanin, our beautiful kinky hair, our fierce and formidable strength or our rich heritage.
They don't have our unique beauty. We are clearly very different, so why are they more beautiful than me? Why is it that a light skinned girl who is "just pretty" gets more followers and likes than a dark skinned one in the same category. Dark skinned girls have to try harder, be bolder, or be models to get the same kind of recognition. But you can hardly be a model if you aren't skinny. So much prejudices against the ordinary girls like me who aren't gorgeously beautiful or skinny or light skinned.
So what's a girl to do? Some take matters in their hands and bleach their skin. I'm sure we all know or have heard about that one girl who was as dark as night and is now as white as light or err.. snow. *sigh*. You can't walk into a beauty store today without your eyes being attacked by rows and aisles of bleaching creams or lightening solutions. Solutions to what problems?
I think it's funny how in music videos, our own artistes feel it's okay to use our nigerian girls for the twerking and club scenes but for the love and marriage scenes, they bring the fine, fair foreign girls in. This insinuates that we aren't beautiful enough for them to marry. I really think it's a horrible trend. We believe a lot of what we watch unconsciously whether we know it or not. A lot of teenage girls feel inferior because of their skin tone and the men and women they love and look up to aren't helping.
My "unskinny" sisters, my great size 10 to 20 fam, walk into clothing stores and find clothes that can't fit them or are aren't their style. Big girls need stylish clothes too. We need to feel beautiful and sexy and not so big. We need to look good so the first thing people notice isn't our tummies or our thick thighs but how beautiful God made us. By the way, I absolutely adore Meghan Trainor and her songs.
To my unskinny sisters, my size 10 to 20 fam, we have our veggie shakes, sport gear and long workouts to look forward to. Isn't that great? If you really want to lose weight, abandon us and join the skinny sisters fam, no problem. And if you don't, no problem. Just stay healthy and don't have heart disease.
I am not against skinny girls. I have a particular skinny friend and after reading this post, she told me that she gets judged a lot just because she is super slim, So I put this in just for her. Skinny girls do eat, sometimes more than their unskinny sisters but they've been blessed to stay that way and we can't judge them for that.
I believe there is beauty in every girl and every woman, black, white, yellow or green. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
Happy new year.
Till someone calls me fat again, Sayonara!
