Up and Doing

I tried very hard,
gave it my best,
I even broke a sweat.
I traveled several miles.
I used my money and time.
My love and my smile.
I did it with the best intentions
but I got no reward for my ministrations
I got fake smiles and fake thank yous,

insults and put downs.
Where's the warm hug I thought I would get?
Where's the friend I thought I had in you?
Why are there tears of disappointment on my face?
What am I going to do?
I will smile and wipe my tears.
I will cry and face my fears.
What fears have I?
That I will be alone.
That you will leave me.
That you will make make me cry.
That you will hurt me.
But you cannot know for my pride is great.
So I will hold my head high and bear my fate
I will be strong and see your face
One more day, I say.
Maybe it's today.
I'll finally hear those words,
you'll say you love me,
even if it isn't true.
I'd rather tell myself this than accept the truth
That you don't love me and I don't love you
and I'm just scared to die alone

This was a very random poem inspired by my frustration at not getting a bedspace in my school. I'm actually single and not in love with anyone at the moment and I dunno where that part came from. But I love how it looks and feels. I hope you also do