Up and Doing

    Unfortunately for me, my bathing skills were too advanced and a lot of water splashed on a very innocent bystander. At the end, I couldn't even be angry in peace. The innocent guy was angry as well and I just had to plead and beg. Sigh. Stories that touch. My molester was obviously high as his eyes were red and blank. Long story cut short, my molester got away with his hand-wandering ways. Him and almost every female-molester in Nigeria. His actions might seem trivial to the ordinary man but I came out of that restaurant shaking. And all I did to attract him was wear a skirt and stand. My skirt was just above my knees and not clingy in any way but even if it was, so what. After seething in anger for a minute or two I walked out of that restaurant knowing I could do nothing about the whole thing. He was physically stronger and I'd probably have typed this with a black eye, a swollen cheek or broken nose if I had done anything more. It probably wouldn't be funny right now. I saw him about a week after the incident. From afar. Thank you very much. And then I got the opportunity to get a closer look at him later on and I know that he didn't recognize me.
    I don't feel weird when I remember the incident or when I see him around school. One day, I might actually say hi and invite him to fellowship
 
This was first written on the 25th of February, 2017

"BE YOURSELF", I think I heard this phrase about a thousand times when I was growing up. What am I saying? I'm still growing up. "When I was younger" seems more appropriate. At first, I didn't understand. It didn't even matter. I just sang along to the songs and enjoyed the movies and life went on.
I got into secondary school very young. I was 9. I was happy, I didn't think I would get in but I did. People always dread their first days at a new school, I was just ready to start school. I had fun that day but some things started to happen to me.
  I discovered that unconsciously, I started trying to talk like other people, walk like other people and even laugh like other people. It became a habit. I met a lot of girls who were prettier than me, taller than me, funnier than me and I wanted to be like them. I didn't like myself the way I was cus I didnt think anyone liked me the way I was. So If everyone thinks "Tanya" has a cute laugh, why don't I laugh like Tanya?
  I left my junior secondary school after my third year there. It was time for Senior Secondary. And guess what, it was a military school.
   I need some thriller music in the background.
   My parents sent me to a place where nightmares and bullies and evil soldiers ruled. A place where the guys were all WWE champions ( locally of course) and all the girls were ninjas and spies.
  The above paragraph is merely fictional. You may open your mind again.
  Okay, Command, I won't say which one, was nothing like I expected. As opposed to the rumours, I had civilian teachers; I wasn't taken to the guard room for every single thing I did wrong and I wasn't doomed. It was actually fun.
   I was the new girl and everyone wanted to talk to, play with, sit with, be friends with and maybe even deceive. For the first time ever, I was famous ( exaggeration! Maybe popular is a better word) And I didn't even have to try. I just had to go to school. It was nice. After a while, things died down but I was still popular.
  In Senior high, I was more confident, happier to be myself but I still compared myself to other girls, a lot and came up with the shorter end of the stick. I still wasn't madly in love with myself but there was a change. There was progress.
  In my new school, I realized that boobs and ass weren't everything to guys. Curvy Cs and Double Ds weren't a common commodity as opposed to where I was coming from. Sometimes, all it took was being a girl. I started to like guys, a lot. I would have crush after crush after crush. I was 12 or 13, of course I wanted true love. I still do. But I didn't actually date till I left secondary school. I was a total nun . Where my halo at?

I know I haven't posted anything in a while. I'm sorry. I had a burnout, writer's block, whatever you want want to call it. I'm going to be a better blogger, so help me God. Amen!

Dear F,

    Our age difference was one thing that I couldn't quite wrap my mind around. You are at least 11 years older than me but I have an age limit of 6. All I wanted from you was for you to teach me how to bake but I didn't qualify so you decided I qualified for something else. Unfortunately for you, I had more resistance than you thought I would. I guess I seemed like a naïve, young woman. An easy conquest of some sort. You would call me everyday and some times, we'd talk for several minutes about your unrequited emotions and how you wished to see me. Now that I think back, it was all quite pathetic.. And disgusting. After a few weeks of your pestering, I agreed to see you. That was the beginning of the end.

    As usual I didn't listen to HS, my best friend. He told me not to go but I felt too bound by my words. After spending time and effort to locate your office, I finally found it. The distance was not a joke and I was tired. Your office was not like what I expected but I forgave it and accepted it's charm. It was good enough for a baker, I guess. Then I quietly took the seat you offered and waited and watched till you dispatched your employees. The smug smiles you kept throwing my way made me feel like slugs were crawling on my skin. Yuck!

    When we were alone like you hoped, I became uncomfortable and with good reason. You decided you wanted to sit too close to me. And act like we'd known each other for so long when we'd merely known each other for a few weeks. After I rebuffed you, you decided that was the best time to check your emails and Instagram feed. As if that wasn't enough, you didn't even offer me a drink! Not even water! All you tried to force me to have was some cake when you knew I was fasting. At this point, I was livid. What kind of a pathetic wannabe Yoruba demon are you? Seriously, your game is dead. After being ignored for almost 45 minutes, I finally decided that I'd been insulted enough. I decided to leave but still it never clicked in your head that the hot sun was more than enough to dry out my tongue. And the worst, After all I went through, you gave me just 500 naira! I found out you were stingy as well. But like a good little girl, I kept quiet through it all. You told me to call you when I got to school. I'm sure you knew that wasn't going to happen.

   I'm so glad you never called again.

                                                                                                                                                         Indifference,

                                                                                                                                                                 D.

   I've loved and lost a lot in my not so long life on earth. I'm talking about people... friends, ex friends or whatever those are called. I've been feeling nostalgic for a couple of days, a week maybe? What can say? I miss some people and as for some others, I can't believe I ever had anything to do with them.
   There's a song I used to love.it It simply said "no matter what happens I've got my friends". It was a nice touching sentiment but sometimes, friends lie, friends aren't genuine, sometimes they use you, hurt you, sometimes friends leave you. Sometimes your friends aren't really your friends and it's all fun and games till you need them. I'm really not against having friends as long as you know who they really are.
    You know, I've always wanted a bff (best friend forever) but I don't think it's in God's plan for my life. Some of my best friends and I lost touch cus of school, misunderstandings and sometimes it was because I realized that I was the only one who was really willing to give or go the extra mile. Have you ever done something for someone that cost you something? Then imagine the pain when you realize they wouldn't do the same for you.
    I've moved into a hostel in school very recently and I find myself wanting friends around me. The problem is I'm too socially awkward to flow with everyone or just anyone. A lot of people think I'm amazing but still I don't have that one friend (or more, I really don't mind) that I can call my ride or die. We always lose touch, drift apart, fight... Something. I've become a lone ranger as a result. Learned to be happy by myself
   Sometimes, you don't realize you've learnt a lesson until something happens more than once. You do exactly the same things and hope for something different each time. You're actually quite mad according to a wise guy who's dead.
    I guess I just feel old because I know how different I've become. I have a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders and a lesser number of people I can call my friends. I miss some of the ones I've lost. My ex best friend, some that tried to get out of the friend zone and some that I'm just too shy to say hello to. Its kind of amazing that I used to be close to some people and now I barely know what to say to then.
    And then there are some people I will just never miss. Ever. Like never ever ever ever never ever. Keep your Justin Bieber comebacks, thank you very much. - Damimyne

  I went to the 2015 Maritime Expo to find out more about the maritime sector. I did. It was a 3 day program that involved seminar sessions and an exhibition. I only went for one day and I assumed it would be boring because I went alone but it really wasn't.
  I got more than I bargained for because I met someone I'd like to call the man of my dreams. He was tall, dark, not overly handsome plus (When I say plus, I mean PLUS!!) he was wearing a suit! And he had a beard! He was just wonderful to peek at.
  You know that almost awkward situation where you look and find someone's eyes on you. You both look away and when you return the favour they catch you staring as well. Yea... It was kinda like that. I was just so enthralled by his unparalleled aura. I mean he wasn't the most handsome guy in the room but he stood out.
   Just before the session started, Everyone was ushered into the hall to be used. I found a seat and stayed with my phone while looking around. I couldn't help but notice that dream man knew about every body. He was saying hi to a lot of people.
   He walked up or down to greet someone sitting right in front of me and for some reason, I felt the need to check his ring finger. It wasn't bare. He was married. That poured icy water all over my dreaminess. Yuck!
   I told almost every girl I met in school for the next few days about the man of my dreams but it always ended with the tragic line "He's married"...

I want to go somewhere
Somewhere not here.
I want to go somewhere
Somewhere far away.
I want to go to a place
A place where dreams come true

Where life is simple;
Where things are easy;
Where it's not too hot;
Where it's not too cold;
Where the breeze brings joy;
Where the sun brings laughter.

I want to go somewhere,
Somewhere people don't cry;
Somewhere they don't fall sick;
Somewhere they never die.
I want to go somewhere,
Somewhere real,
Somewhere that really exists,
And is not just in my head.

I want to escape,
I want to be free,

I want to be me.

I want to go somewhere, 

Somewhere called paradise

   So last night, my dad told me about a member of our extended family that had just died.
"That's sad", I said, my voice flat.
" Yes, it is." He agreed.
   After that encounter, I realized with a start that I didn't feel even the tiniest twinge of pity or sadness. Why would I? I didn't know her. I don't think I ever met her and if I did, I don't remember. I don't even have an idea of what she looks like. All I know is that she was an old lady and we were related.
   But... She just died. And she was a mother and a sister and a friend. That should make me feel bad, right? It doesn't. I just feel bad because I don't feel bad. Does that make sense?
   I've realized that I can be detached from my emotions sometimes. And then people react strongly to some things around me and I can't even find it in me to sigh.
   Anyway the burial is today. She's probably a Muslim. And in 40 days, people will gather round to eat and drink and celebrate someone's death. I'm not sure I understand why we do that. Oh. I just remembered it's called a 'Celebration of Life'. I'll probably be there but I'll try to avoid going.
   I mean, if she was sick, I didn't know and even if I knew, I wouldn't have cared much. If she had needs, I never heard about them. If she was sad, I wasn't there to comfort her. I don't even know her name. And then someone tell me what it is I'm celebrating? The life I was never part of? The joys and sorrows I never knew about? Or her death probably with a slaughtered cow or ram and half a bag of rice and over 500 guests and "wellwishers". We can't leave them out.
   I hope I don't sound sadistic. I really didn't mean to. I'm just having a hard time accepting the way life and society are. It's a bit disgusting. And then I just feel bad because I don't feel bad.

The first time I met this guy, he literally tried to buy me. I can still remember the smug look on his face. I told him I was priceless tho. Turns out he's really a softie with a big heart.

Who?
I am Dare Asobele

What?
I do a lot of things, by God's grace I will be a lawyer from December 16th 2015. I also have this Lil business of making healthy fruit juice to help reduce stress and help in weight loss. Most importantly I love giving back to the society with my NGO group known as ExecutivesInitiative where I and a couple of friends have an event called The charity.

Why?
I care about The Charity event, cause I feel like no one cares about anyone else apart from themselves and selfish related goals and we should be able to take at least once a year if not everday and make a couple of kids laugh during this festive period. I see the hope and dreams these kids have and it breaks my heart I can't do much, but I Will start and hopefully someday I hope God makes me make their dreams come through. I don't do this for people to say I am nice and caring, in fact I might be annoying and crazy at times but I just want to see Nigerian kids that don't have anything to be able to give back someday.

How?
Doing it, has it's ups and down. We are not registered and also funds are personal funds. We just send bcs and also disturb our uncles and aunties. Also we get help from small groups and now bloggers help us send the word out there. But I make sure with the little we have, we do much. This is the 3rd year. This year it is called #Thecharity2015.

Where?
This year, the charity is visiting 3 orphanage homes and two communities

When?
The charity 2015 takes place on the 23rd of December.

To participate kindly follow us on Twitter @Executivesinc and Instagram @ExecutivesInitiative and like our Facebook page and check out old pictures of wat we are about www.facebook.com/executivesinitiative
Kindly support #Thecharity2015 by filling this online. Click the link and Help the Kids https://goo.gl/39t691

Here is a little something extra from the big guy.

Charity begins at home, but should spread to our communities.
Think about how much of an impact you can make by donating clothes, shoes, school bags and books; ‎by giving toys; ‎by helping out; by smiling at a kid.
Now don't just think! Do! Give! Help! Smile! Donate!
It's incredible how much of an impact you can make by simply taking one day out of 365 days to contribute to a child's happiness and a communities' delight especially in this very special season.

Be part of this experience. Call the following numbers if you want to participate on that day:

(Dare) +2347087759673, +234816 748 8754‎
(Fikayo)+2348079352613, +2348097875070 ‎
(Boro) +234 809 619 2819

God bless you as you donate
‎

   So my blog is a year old today. I'm a proud mother, blogger, a shy writer and I have honestly thought about dumping this baby more than a few times but I didn't. I can't say there's a specific reason I started cus I really can't remember any.
   I think I did okay for my first year. Like 4/10 okay. But that's okay, I guess. I'm grateful to God for inspiration and for making me the way I am. I wouldn't be as awkward and entertaining otherwise.
   Like I'll tell anyone, I never actually thought I could write or compose anything. In fact, I still can't write good fiction to save my life but I discovered I could write about me, what goes on in my head and what happens around me. Today, someone called me an alien because of a quote I thought up ( it's part of an upcoming post). I honestly felt flattered. My grin could not be contained.
   I remember once writing an essay that got my teacher so excited she insisted on getting it printed in our school magazine. I didn't see what the big deal was, I just wrote what I heard in the news. I really can't remember the topic now, it was over 3 years ago.
   This post feels so distended and not well put together but that's okay. My baby blog is one! She survived all those infancy attacks! Like every mother, I hope she grows up healthy and strong.