Up and Doing

You came so close
And turned away
I watched your steps
I watched in pain
You weren't going to stay
Why did you come?
Only to leave
Breaking barriers
Slamming doors
Breaking hearts

Souls once joined
In friendship, in love
Now torn apart
Unequal halves must now heal
I saw you today
Alas, I wasn't sad
Because now
You're just somebody I used to know

   I've loved and lost a lot in my not so long life on earth. I'm talking about people... friends, ex friends or whatever those are called. I've been feeling nostalgic for a couple of days, a week maybe? What can say? I miss some people and as for some others, I can't believe I ever had anything to do with them.
   There's a song I used to love.it It simply said "no matter what happens I've got my friends". It was a nice touching sentiment but sometimes, friends lie, friends aren't genuine, sometimes they use you, hurt you, sometimes friends leave you. Sometimes your friends aren't really your friends and it's all fun and games till you need them. I'm really not against having friends as long as you know who they really are.
    You know, I've always wanted a bff (best friend forever) but I don't think it's in God's plan for my life. Some of my best friends and I lost touch cus of school, misunderstandings and sometimes it was because I realized that I was the only one who was really willing to give or go the extra mile. Have you ever done something for someone that cost you something? Then imagine the pain when you realize they wouldn't do the same for you.
    I've moved into a hostel in school very recently and I find myself wanting friends around me. The problem is I'm too socially awkward to flow with everyone or just anyone. A lot of people think I'm amazing but still I don't have that one friend (or more, I really don't mind) that I can call my ride or die. We always lose touch, drift apart, fight... Something. I've become a lone ranger as a result. Learned to be happy by myself
   Sometimes, you don't realize you've learnt a lesson until something happens more than once. You do exactly the same things and hope for something different each time. You're actually quite mad according to a wise guy who's dead.
    I guess I just feel old because I know how different I've become. I have a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders and a lesser number of people I can call my friends. I miss some of the ones I've lost. My ex best friend, some that tried to get out of the friend zone and some that I'm just too shy to say hello to. Its kind of amazing that I used to be close to some people and now I barely know what to say to then.
    And then there are some people I will just never miss. Ever. Like never ever ever ever never ever. Keep your Justin Bieber comebacks, thank you very much. - Damimyne