Up and Doing

    Hello, to anyone reading this. I sometimes wonder if anyone reads these things I post but I guess that most successful people probably had the same insecurities. I'm supposed to be in bed dreaming dreams about Sunday Service and other wonderful things but here I am, sitting in the living room, writing this... With a torchlight. The light *cough*.. I mean generator went off about an hour ago and I don't expect any electricity till 7:30pm tomorrow, when the gen comes on. Poor guy, the gen I mean.
    I feel awfully melancholic tonight. Have you ever felt this way? Sigh.. I dunno where this is going, I hardly do when I write, I just Idina Menzel my way through. I write on paper first before I type. Partially to improve my handwriting and partially because I flow better that way. I just hope someone who reads this can relate. I hope I brighten someone's day or put a smile on a face or two when they realize they're not really alone.. That someone out there feels the exact same way.. . Unsure of how they feel. Sigh... The dogs are barking again.
    Then maybe these are just the mindless rants of a young woman in Lagos, Nigeria who feels melancholic at this very moment. My solution? I'll talk to God about it, play music, dance, drink water and go to bed. What's your solution?

I should just do what you asked.
But I am a coward
Buying time with borrowed money,
Money I can never pay back
To play a dangerous game.
A gamble.
A risk with no wins in sight.
But I'm getting blinded all over again,
By the glamour,
the glitter of what isn't gold,
Of what won't last.
The urge is as strong as the pull.
The notion of drowning in you
but I know it is all a lie.
The game was over before it started,
because I dared to play.
I dared to gaze on that tree so forbidden.
Because I dared what shouldn't have been.
I should do what I said,
I should let you go,
I should walk away,
but cowards don't do what they should.

    Since my first year in uni, I've alwayS gotten  bedspAce in a haLl of residence (Thank God for new mercies). Although I always seem to get it about 6 weeks after resumption. In my 200 level, I got a particular hall for the second time (You get reallocated each year and you might not get the same hall more than once).
    A couple of weeks after settling in, I came back to school one Sunday to the tales of how my roommates plundered the limitless treasures of free WiFi. Apparently, the port was just outside the window of my first floor 6-man
room. How could it happen WHEN I went home?? Sigh. I was Very disAppoinTed. I mean, of course the Wifi just has to go off the day I come back! A number of apps on my phone needed updates and I wasn't about to use my data plan of a meagre 2GB. Why? Because then It would ONly last for a week or less. It's not called a monthly plan for nothing.
    So.. Imagine my surprise when a few days later, the WiFi came back! It was a beautiful moment! Indescribable even. Imagine my surprise when the WiFi lasted for more than a week. It was awesome. I finally knew how YouTube worked! After a few weeks, we took it for granted. I didn't buy data for about 3 months cus of the hostel WiFi. The WiFi radius got to my room so I didn't even have go to the common room to get connected. All my apps were up to date... It was every Nigerian student's dream.
One day, unfortunately for a lot of us, it just stopped. No warning.. No nothing.. It just stopped. It was painful. I had to buy data amongst other things. It also meant goodbye YouTube. Sigh. I really enjoyed the free WiFi while it lasted. It was actually approved by my Uni for students and each hall is supposed to have one.
   Anyway, I moved on. I bought data. Life went on, WiFiless and all. After about a week or two of the WiFiless life, the WiFi came back. I'm a Nigerian. I like free stuff sometimes. That's why giveaways make us so happy. Why we love birthdays and Christmas. It's why we love free WIFI! A sale, a discount. I dunno if it's human nature, we just have it. However, waiting on free stuff all the time can slow you down in life. Your expectations can and might always be cut short. They say nothing comes free. I almost agree tho... Except there's this one thing.
   

    Today, my mum told me that it took her over 3 days to give birth to me. She went into Labour on the 11th and was placed on admission in a hospital close to our house before she was moved to Ayinke house, LASUTH, Lagos. Basically she started on the 11th and she had me on the 14th. It was a Monday. On that day, the sun must have been so beautiful and the sky so blue and blah blah blah. I was eventually birthed through a C-section and several years later, I'm just finding out.
    Tomorrow is my birthday and I'm so excited. Guess what? I have plans. Yay! Two years ago, I had the worst birthday ever. The worst. Apart from my family only about 5 people wished me a happy birthday. I was miserable! I had classes on that day till 6pm! Sigh.. Enough venting.. For now. *insert evil smirk*.
    Anyways back to my plans. I was so stumped about what to do. Movie? Nehh! Party? Blehh! That's it. My span of ideas for a birthday. Sigh again. I know, I know. Anyway, I decided to ask the Giver of all for a birthday idea and I got one that pleases me immensely. I'm going to the Lekki Conservation Centre and the Palms shopping Mall, both in Lekki, Lagos. The island (Lagos island) has always held a special charm for me. There's just something magical about it. Call me crazy, I'll still think so. I mean, there's the iconic ocean, the beaches, the tall buildings, the sand in your shoes, the general tushness of that area speaks to me.
     What influenced my choices? The Lekki Conservation Centre is a wild life reserve centre and it's amazing that I've never heard of it before this week. I mean, I know I'm a house rat and all but a wild life resort in Lagos?? Thank you Google. I love nature and sightseeing. The two-in-one package is irresistible for me. And then I've never been to the Palms Shopping Mall. I can't wait to unleash myself on a mall that boasts of over 30 shops.
   I'll tell y'all all about it. See you on the other side and happy new year to me and all April born. Muah!

My eyes fly open. I sit up. I'm in bed in my four man room. It's in a female hostel in my school. As I get aware of my surroundings, I realize my sleep was disturbed by something.
  "Wake up! They said everyone should leave the hostels today!! There are policemen everywhere and they are going to use tear gas on students!! I got this from a reliable source!" My mind started racing. Hearts do that too, I think. I hear her but I don't really believe her or I just really want to sleep. I wait for the light to go off.
   I wake up almost two hours later, it's around 7am. There is tension in air. Something is about to happen. Someone bursts into my room. "You guys are not ready?? I'm going o!"
It's the girl from earlier. I feel like a car that has just been started although not with a key, with anxiety and a little bit of fear. My body comes alive and I spring up and move swiftly out of the room and down the corridors. I enter the room on my mind. One of the targets of my informational onslaught is asleep, the other is no where to be found. She's downstairs, her bucket on a queue, waiting to be filled with water. I pass the information and hurry to my room to pack.
Clothes, books, sandals, power bank, charger... I stuff what I can into my bag.
Brush. Bath.
Clothes. Dress up.
Hairbrush.
Food.
Go down.
   It's past 9am. The fear of the unknown permeates the air. People, girls have run back and forth, in and out of the hostels. Apparently, we've been asked to leave the hostels and the university by the School Management but the Student Union Government doesn't want us to. The SUG has stated it's grievances against the SM but no one comes out to address us. The power supply is epileptic, we struggle for water everyday.. our major complaints among others. It's a tug of war. We are like refugees and we are not. Bags and boxes of all shapes and sizes; students sitting on the pavement at the side of the road and then restaurants making money out of us. People are scared. Of the police patrolling the length and breadth of the university; Of the threat of tear gas and bullets; Of the SUG supporters wielding canes and brandishing sticks. A number of students were actually flogged. I heard and almost saw. We watch some students March around under the glare of the artistic sun. I wonder how much SPF their sunscreen has and where they get their energy from.
  "Open the gates!" A chant in our hearts. We long for safety, security. We long for home. I don't really want to protest although I understand why I should. I just want to go home.
    It's 3pm. Several hours have passed.. I'm on my way home. I feel several shades darker. The sun has perfected it's art. My bag weighs heavy on my shoulder. I'm about to enter one of the two buses that will get me home. It feels great to be free. I smile at my friends and we begin a new journey..
               -Dee M