Up and Doing

"BE YOURSELF", I think I heard this phrase about a thousand times when I was growing up. What am I saying? I'm still growing up. "When I was younger" seems more appropriate. At first, I didn't understand. It didn't even matter. I just sang along to the songs and enjoyed the movies and life went on.
I got into secondary school very young. I was 9. I was happy, I didn't think I would get in but I did. People always dread their first days at a new school, I was just ready to start school. I had fun that day but some things started to happen to me.
  I discovered that unconsciously, I started trying to talk like other people, walk like other people and even laugh like other people. It became a habit. I met a lot of girls who were prettier than me, taller than me, funnier than me and I wanted to be like them. I didn't like myself the way I was cus I didnt think anyone liked me the way I was. So If everyone thinks "Tanya" has a cute laugh, why don't I laugh like Tanya?
  I left my junior secondary school after my third year there. It was time for Senior Secondary. And guess what, it was a military school.
   I need some thriller music in the background.
   My parents sent me to a place where nightmares and bullies and evil soldiers ruled. A place where the guys were all WWE champions ( locally of course) and all the girls were ninjas and spies.
  The above paragraph is merely fictional. You may open your mind again.
  Okay, Command, I won't say which one, was nothing like I expected. As opposed to the rumours, I had civilian teachers; I wasn't taken to the guard room for every single thing I did wrong and I wasn't doomed. It was actually fun.
   I was the new girl and everyone wanted to talk to, play with, sit with, be friends with and maybe even deceive. For the first time ever, I was famous ( exaggeration! Maybe popular is a better word) And I didn't even have to try. I just had to go to school. It was nice. After a while, things died down but I was still popular.
  In Senior high, I was more confident, happier to be myself but I still compared myself to other girls, a lot and came up with the shorter end of the stick. I still wasn't madly in love with myself but there was a change. There was progress.
  In my new school, I realized that boobs and ass weren't everything to guys. Curvy Cs and Double Ds weren't a common commodity as opposed to where I was coming from. Sometimes, all it took was being a girl. I started to like guys, a lot. I would have crush after crush after crush. I was 12 or 13, of course I wanted true love. I still do. But I didn't actually date till I left secondary school. I was a total nun . Where my halo at?

I know I haven't posted anything in a while. I'm sorry. I had a burnout, writer's block, whatever you want want to call it. I'm going to be a better blogger, so help me God. Amen!

    Hello, to anyone reading this. I sometimes wonder if anyone reads these things I post but I guess that most successful people probably had the same insecurities. I'm supposed to be in bed dreaming dreams about Sunday Service and other wonderful things but here I am, sitting in the living room, writing this... With a torchlight. The light *cough*.. I mean generator went off about an hour ago and I don't expect any electricity till 7:30pm tomorrow, when the gen comes on. Poor guy, the gen I mean.
    I feel awfully melancholic tonight. Have you ever felt this way? Sigh.. I dunno where this is going, I hardly do when I write, I just Idina Menzel my way through. I write on paper first before I type. Partially to improve my handwriting and partially because I flow better that way. I just hope someone who reads this can relate. I hope I brighten someone's day or put a smile on a face or two when they realize they're not really alone.. That someone out there feels the exact same way.. . Unsure of how they feel. Sigh... The dogs are barking again.
    Then maybe these are just the mindless rants of a young woman in Lagos, Nigeria who feels melancholic at this very moment. My solution? I'll talk to God about it, play music, dance, drink water and go to bed. What's your solution?

    Today, my mum told me that it took her over 3 days to give birth to me. She went into Labour on the 11th and was placed on admission in a hospital close to our house before she was moved to Ayinke house, LASUTH, Lagos. Basically she started on the 11th and she had me on the 14th. It was a Monday. On that day, the sun must have been so beautiful and the sky so blue and blah blah blah. I was eventually birthed through a C-section and several years later, I'm just finding out.
    Tomorrow is my birthday and I'm so excited. Guess what? I have plans. Yay! Two years ago, I had the worst birthday ever. The worst. Apart from my family only about 5 people wished me a happy birthday. I was miserable! I had classes on that day till 6pm! Sigh.. Enough venting.. For now. *insert evil smirk*.
    Anyways back to my plans. I was so stumped about what to do. Movie? Nehh! Party? Blehh! That's it. My span of ideas for a birthday. Sigh again. I know, I know. Anyway, I decided to ask the Giver of all for a birthday idea and I got one that pleases me immensely. I'm going to the Lekki Conservation Centre and the Palms shopping Mall, both in Lekki, Lagos. The island (Lagos island) has always held a special charm for me. There's just something magical about it. Call me crazy, I'll still think so. I mean, there's the iconic ocean, the beaches, the tall buildings, the sand in your shoes, the general tushness of that area speaks to me.
     What influenced my choices? The Lekki Conservation Centre is a wild life reserve centre and it's amazing that I've never heard of it before this week. I mean, I know I'm a house rat and all but a wild life resort in Lagos?? Thank you Google. I love nature and sightseeing. The two-in-one package is irresistible for me. And then I've never been to the Palms Shopping Mall. I can't wait to unleash myself on a mall that boasts of over 30 shops.
   I'll tell y'all all about it. See you on the other side and happy new year to me and all April born. Muah!

   I've loved and lost a lot in my not so long life on earth. I'm talking about people... friends, ex friends or whatever those are called. I've been feeling nostalgic for a couple of days, a week maybe? What can say? I miss some people and as for some others, I can't believe I ever had anything to do with them.
   There's a song I used to love.it It simply said "no matter what happens I've got my friends". It was a nice touching sentiment but sometimes, friends lie, friends aren't genuine, sometimes they use you, hurt you, sometimes friends leave you. Sometimes your friends aren't really your friends and it's all fun and games till you need them. I'm really not against having friends as long as you know who they really are.
    You know, I've always wanted a bff (best friend forever) but I don't think it's in God's plan for my life. Some of my best friends and I lost touch cus of school, misunderstandings and sometimes it was because I realized that I was the only one who was really willing to give or go the extra mile. Have you ever done something for someone that cost you something? Then imagine the pain when you realize they wouldn't do the same for you.
    I've moved into a hostel in school very recently and I find myself wanting friends around me. The problem is I'm too socially awkward to flow with everyone or just anyone. A lot of people think I'm amazing but still I don't have that one friend (or more, I really don't mind) that I can call my ride or die. We always lose touch, drift apart, fight... Something. I've become a lone ranger as a result. Learned to be happy by myself
   Sometimes, you don't realize you've learnt a lesson until something happens more than once. You do exactly the same things and hope for something different each time. You're actually quite mad according to a wise guy who's dead.
    I guess I just feel old because I know how different I've become. I have a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders and a lesser number of people I can call my friends. I miss some of the ones I've lost. My ex best friend, some that tried to get out of the friend zone and some that I'm just too shy to say hello to. Its kind of amazing that I used to be close to some people and now I barely know what to say to then.
    And then there are some people I will just never miss. Ever. Like never ever ever ever never ever. Keep your Justin Bieber comebacks, thank you very much. - Damimyne

  I went to the 2015 Maritime Expo to find out more about the maritime sector. I did. It was a 3 day program that involved seminar sessions and an exhibition. I only went for one day and I assumed it would be boring because I went alone but it really wasn't.
  I got more than I bargained for because I met someone I'd like to call the man of my dreams. He was tall, dark, not overly handsome plus (When I say plus, I mean PLUS!!) he was wearing a suit! And he had a beard! He was just wonderful to peek at.
  You know that almost awkward situation where you look and find someone's eyes on you. You both look away and when you return the favour they catch you staring as well. Yea... It was kinda like that. I was just so enthralled by his unparalleled aura. I mean he wasn't the most handsome guy in the room but he stood out.
   Just before the session started, Everyone was ushered into the hall to be used. I found a seat and stayed with my phone while looking around. I couldn't help but notice that dream man knew about every body. He was saying hi to a lot of people.
   He walked up or down to greet someone sitting right in front of me and for some reason, I felt the need to check his ring finger. It wasn't bare. He was married. That poured icy water all over my dreaminess. Yuck!
   I told almost every girl I met in school for the next few days about the man of my dreams but it always ended with the tragic line "He's married"...

I want to go somewhere
Somewhere not here.
I want to go somewhere
Somewhere far away.
I want to go to a place
A place where dreams come true

Where life is simple;
Where things are easy;
Where it's not too hot;
Where it's not too cold;
Where the breeze brings joy;
Where the sun brings laughter.

I want to go somewhere,
Somewhere people don't cry;
Somewhere they don't fall sick;
Somewhere they never die.
I want to go somewhere,
Somewhere real,
Somewhere that really exists,
And is not just in my head.

I want to escape,
I want to be free,

I want to be me.

I want to go somewhere, 

Somewhere called paradise

   So last night, my dad told me about a member of our extended family that had just died.
"That's sad", I said, my voice flat.
" Yes, it is." He agreed.
   After that encounter, I realized with a start that I didn't feel even the tiniest twinge of pity or sadness. Why would I? I didn't know her. I don't think I ever met her and if I did, I don't remember. I don't even have an idea of what she looks like. All I know is that she was an old lady and we were related.
   But... She just died. And she was a mother and a sister and a friend. That should make me feel bad, right? It doesn't. I just feel bad because I don't feel bad. Does that make sense?
   I've realized that I can be detached from my emotions sometimes. And then people react strongly to some things around me and I can't even find it in me to sigh.
   Anyway the burial is today. She's probably a Muslim. And in 40 days, people will gather round to eat and drink and celebrate someone's death. I'm not sure I understand why we do that. Oh. I just remembered it's called a 'Celebration of Life'. I'll probably be there but I'll try to avoid going.
   I mean, if she was sick, I didn't know and even if I knew, I wouldn't have cared much. If she had needs, I never heard about them. If she was sad, I wasn't there to comfort her. I don't even know her name. And then someone tell me what it is I'm celebrating? The life I was never part of? The joys and sorrows I never knew about? Or her death probably with a slaughtered cow or ram and half a bag of rice and over 500 guests and "wellwishers". We can't leave them out.
   I hope I don't sound sadistic. I really didn't mean to. I'm just having a hard time accepting the way life and society are. It's a bit disgusting. And then I just feel bad because I don't feel bad.

The first time I met this guy, he literally tried to buy me. I can still remember the smug look on his face. I told him I was priceless tho. Turns out he's really a softie with a big heart.

Who?
I am Dare Asobele

What?
I do a lot of things, by God's grace I will be a lawyer from December 16th 2015. I also have this Lil business of making healthy fruit juice to help reduce stress and help in weight loss. Most importantly I love giving back to the society with my NGO group known as ExecutivesInitiative where I and a couple of friends have an event called The charity.

Why?
I care about The Charity event, cause I feel like no one cares about anyone else apart from themselves and selfish related goals and we should be able to take at least once a year if not everday and make a couple of kids laugh during this festive period. I see the hope and dreams these kids have and it breaks my heart I can't do much, but I Will start and hopefully someday I hope God makes me make their dreams come through. I don't do this for people to say I am nice and caring, in fact I might be annoying and crazy at times but I just want to see Nigerian kids that don't have anything to be able to give back someday.

How?
Doing it, has it's ups and down. We are not registered and also funds are personal funds. We just send bcs and also disturb our uncles and aunties. Also we get help from small groups and now bloggers help us send the word out there. But I make sure with the little we have, we do much. This is the 3rd year. This year it is called #Thecharity2015.

Where?
This year, the charity is visiting 3 orphanage homes and two communities

When?
The charity 2015 takes place on the 23rd of December.

To participate kindly follow us on Twitter @Executivesinc and Instagram @ExecutivesInitiative and like our Facebook page and check out old pictures of wat we are about www.facebook.com/executivesinitiative
Kindly support #Thecharity2015 by filling this online. Click the link and Help the Kids https://goo.gl/39t691

Here is a little something extra from the big guy.

Charity begins at home, but should spread to our communities.
Think about how much of an impact you can make by donating clothes, shoes, school bags and books; ‎by giving toys; ‎by helping out; by smiling at a kid.
Now don't just think! Do! Give! Help! Smile! Donate!
It's incredible how much of an impact you can make by simply taking one day out of 365 days to contribute to a child's happiness and a communities' delight especially in this very special season.

Be part of this experience. Call the following numbers if you want to participate on that day:

(Dare) +2347087759673, +234816 748 8754‎
(Fikayo)+2348079352613, +2348097875070 ‎
(Boro) +234 809 619 2819

God bless you as you donate
‎

   So my blog is a year old today. I'm a proud mother, blogger, a shy writer and I have honestly thought about dumping this baby more than a few times but I didn't. I can't say there's a specific reason I started cus I really can't remember any.
   I think I did okay for my first year. Like 4/10 okay. But that's okay, I guess. I'm grateful to God for inspiration and for making me the way I am. I wouldn't be as awkward and entertaining otherwise.
   Like I'll tell anyone, I never actually thought I could write or compose anything. In fact, I still can't write good fiction to save my life but I discovered I could write about me, what goes on in my head and what happens around me. Today, someone called me an alien because of a quote I thought up ( it's part of an upcoming post). I honestly felt flattered. My grin could not be contained.
   I remember once writing an essay that got my teacher so excited she insisted on getting it printed in our school magazine. I didn't see what the big deal was, I just wrote what I heard in the news. I really can't remember the topic now, it was over 3 years ago.
   This post feels so distended and not well put together but that's okay. My baby blog is one! She survived all those infancy attacks! Like every mother, I hope she grows up healthy and strong.