The Guy who touched my butt and other yams

2:18 pm

    Before you overthink it, "yams" is a slang. It means issues. I created it by mixing basic english principles with a yoruba word. Now that that's done, let's move to this very unimportant topic. On Monday. a guy actually had the effrontery to walk up to me in broad daylight and touch my butt. I know, right? I standing in front of a counter in a restaurant, waiting for a friend and drinking water when it happened. I was shocked but I had to swallow the water in my mouth before I reacted. I gave him a proper bath with the bottle of water my friend paid for. It pained me o. PAUSE. I know exactly what you're thinking but stopeet! Overreact? A mistake?? Puhleeeze! The brother knew what he was doing, He told me about the 'fineness' of my butt. Twice!" PLAY.

    Unfortunately for me, my bathing skills were too advanced and a lot of water splashed on a very innocent bystander. At the end, I couldn't even be angry in peace. The innocent guy was angry as well and I just had to plead and beg. Sigh. Stories that touch. My molester was obviously high as his eyes were red and blank. Long story cut short, my molester got away with his hand-wandering ways. Him and almost every female-molester in Nigeria. His actions might seem trivial to the ordinary man but I came out of that restaurant shaking. And all I did to attract him was wear a skirt and stand. My skirt was just above my knees and not clingy in any way but even if it was, so what. After seething in anger for a minute or two I walked out of that restaurant knowing I could do nothing about the whole thing. He was physically stronger and I'd probably have typed this with a black eye, a swollen cheek or broken nose if I had done anything more. It probably wouldn't be funny right now. I saw him about a week after the incident. From afar. Thank you very much. And then I got the opportunity to get a closer look at him later on and I know that he didn't recognize me.
    I don't feel weird when I remember the incident or when I see him around school. One day, I might actually say hi and invite him to fellowship
This was first written on the 25th of February, 2017

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